


IKEA

by monodramas



Category: SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor, I know IKEA isnt a thing in SK but for the sake of this AU it is, he just wants his plates, i was at IKEA and just decided it was JongTaeKey's Place, jongtae are out of control, kibums had enough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 10:15:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12188025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monodramas/pseuds/monodramas
Summary: In which Jongtaekey tackle the dreaded IKEA shop.





	IKEA

**Author's Note:**

> Written back in 2015 and found in my dusty old drafts folder. This is unbeta-d and may have some grammatical errors, please forgive them.

“How about Popptorp?”

 

Kibum glanced up from the small wad of paper he had been scribbling item codes on to see Jonghyun gesturing toward what looked like a white laundry basket with a cushion in the top.

“No way. That’s a weird name anyway, all of the ugly furniture has weird names.”

Jonghyun’s face fell slightly at the shorthand reply; sulkily more than offended, and Taemin laughed as they turned on their heels to survey the vast expanse of armchairs around them.

 

IKEA trips were never fun, but just like cleaning out wardrobes, killing spiders in the corners of bedrooms and changing lightbulbs, (which seemed to constantly burst on the temperamental electrics board) it had to be done. If the five of them hadn’t just moved dorms, Kibum couldn’t have been paid to step foot in the place. Jonghyun had jumped at the chance to help pick out some new odd few pieces of furniture for their new home, but now seemed far less enthusiastic than he was before as he crouched and flicked a tag in a continuous loop, spiralling down the leg of another armchair.

 

“Jjong, what’s that one called?” Kibum asked, squinting to try and catch a glimpse of the bold writing on the label.

“Ekenäs,” he replied, shuffling to the side as Kibum reached him to inspect it closer. It was grey and simple, but with a fixed fabric cover instead of the black faux leather they were all used to. Kibum toyed with the label momentarily, turning it thoughtfully between his fingers before inspecting the price.

“Jesus, it’s 300 thousand for one tiny armchair!” he exclaimed, in sync with the surprised widening of Jonghyun’s eyes. “Never mind.”

 

“Guys, how about this one? It’s called Janinge and it spins!”  
Taemin’s voice echoed around the small section of the showroom, bouncing slightly off of the walls. Kibum and Jonghyun offered him little more than a tired sideways glance, spotting Taemin swinging his legs over the edge of a bar stool, spinning it around far too quickly for it to be safe. The huge stuffed shark he had found earlier and whined about until he was allowed to buy it hung limply over his knees, close to sliding off from the violent spinning. Jonghyun and Kibum both looked quickly away before anything broke and they could be blamed, and Jonghyun swore he heard Kibum laugh slightly as he went back to scrawling down product codes.

 

It took a great deal of navigation, several more miscellaneous decorations for Taemin’s side of his and Jonghyun’s room, (including an alien hat and several cacti pots) and endless bickering over which colour of plate, towel or bed throw would be best until the three of them reached the warehouse. They had nearly had a heated argument over whether the Färgrik dinnerware would be better in purple, green or blue in the middle of the showroom until Kibum decided they were having purple ‘ _and not blue or green, they’re tacky. Shut up._ ’.

Jonghyun had relented and handed the shopping cart over to Taemin despite Kibum’s warnings, and instead focused on trying to find the locations of the endless flat packed items listed on the product list. They sent him trailing from one side of the vast warehouse to the other over and over again. It was near impossible for him to find Kibum and Taemin except for when hearing the occasional scolding hiss from Kibum, which was somehow loud enough to resonate several meters around him.

With one hand around the box containing a lamp for the study, and another running through the hair that had fallen in his face, he scanned the central aisle for any sign of the other two members. There was no luck for several moments until he turned around on hearing a rattling sound that sounded ominously like wheels moving very, very quickly against cheap laminate flooring. It only took a flash of blonde hair for him to know who it was, as Taemin ran at lightning speed straight past him. Jonghyun watched in anticipation as Taemin failed to slow enough to have a successful stop before colliding with the wall, and flinched ever so slightly at the echoing _crash_ noise which met his ears more harshly than it should’ve.

 

Taemin met Jonghyun’s eyes even from the long distance between them, and Jonghyun could immediately tell from Taemin’s wince that something had broken. Taemin gestured for Jonghyun and he jogged toward him, silently hoping that Kibum would stay preoccupied elsewhere.

“What did you break?” He asked, fighting away a smile as he approached a nervous looking Taemin.

“Färgrik,” Taemin murmured, fighting back a smile.

“You didn’t do it on purpose did you?”

  
“No!” Taemin insisted. “I never said I hated purple, I just said Färgrik doesn’t sound as funny when they’re purple!”

Jonghyun paused for a second, trying to process Taemin’s defence.

“You broke them _all_?” He asked.

Taemin nodded, his eyebrows creasing, and waited on Jonghyun’s reaction.

“I’ll run back upstairs and swap them over, you keep watch and make sure Kibum doesn’t notice, he won’t even know they broke”

“Okay, be quick, or he’ll kill us” Taemin urged, bobbing slightly in place as Jonghyun swapped the recently retrieved lamp box for the smashed crockery and turned on his heel. “Oh, and Jjong?”

Jonghyun turned back quickly, awaiting the news of more broken appliances.

“I ran the whole warehouse in 23 seconds.”

Although he shouldn’t have, Jonghyun beamed almost as brightly as Taemin, though for a reason other than pride.

“You broke Minho’s record.”

 

Kibum had managed to stack a two flat boxes containing new dining chairs and a rolled up rug in his aching arms in a bid to get out of the place as soon as possible. If Jonghyun had retrieved what he had asked for, their list would be completely ticked off and they could finally pay and leave after 3 gruelling hours. Taemin had wandered off with the cart far prior; so the task of tracking him down, added to the possibility of Jonghyun after, wouldn’t be easy. His eyes scanned a main channel of the warehouse, which was strangely void of people for the time of day, in attempts to locate a mop of blonde or ashy hair between shelves or aisles. To no avail.  
Eventually it was voices which gave him a lead, instead of hair. Kibum would recognise the melodic tone of Taemin’s success voice anywhere. He rounded the corner to see Jonghyun breaking into a run with some kind of box clutched close to his chest. On spotting Kibum he halted like clockwork, with Taemin moving the second Jonghyun stopped.

“What’s that?” Kibum asked warily, trying to peer through the shield that Jonghyun had created around the box with his arms and hands.

“Nothing, I picked up the wrong box, I’m gonna swa-”

“I broke your Färgrik.” Taemin called as he approached them, stopping the cart far more gently than he usually would.

“The purple pots?”

Taemin hesitated slightly before nodding, his expression sincere but eyes gleaming with something that wasn’t apology.

“Jesus Christ,” Kibum huffed, snatching the box from Jonghyun, who appeared to be suppressing a smile. “Ugh, fuck the stupid pots. I’ll get some delivered or something.”

“They’re dead! Call them Färgrik out of common respect!” Jonghyun teased, taking the cart and wheeling it toward the checkout.

“Don’t even try it. You both broke them because you liked the blue and green ones more.”

“No we didn’t!” The two retorted indignantly.

“Then why are you trying not to laugh? You were plotting against me!”  
Kibum glared as Jonghyun and Taemin caught each other’s eye and smirked, taking the cart from Jonghyun to push it into a checkout lane.

“We really didn’t Bummie, I swear,” Jonghyun called, slightly breathless from the laughter that had soon overtaken him and Taemin. “Minnie broke Minho’s cart run record.”

“He _what_? How?!”

 

Nobody had ever come close to beating Minho’s run record, achieved with Jinki sitting on the flat base-- he’d then henceforth took every opportunity to brag about it whenever he saw a shopping cart, asking Jinki if he wants to get in the cart for round two.

 

“The Färgrik had to be sacrificed,” Taemin laughed, packing his cacti and miscellaneous gifts neatly into a bag at the checkout.

“Stop calling it Färgrik, it’s such a weird name,” Kibum muttered, trying to ward off a smile at the prospect of Minho discovering his 5 year old record had been broken.

“But Kibum…” Jonghyun began softly.

“Didn’t you say…?” Taemin added, a smile audible in his voice.

“The ugly furniture has weird names?”

Kibum cast them both a threatening look, promising them trouble when they weren’t in public.

“You’re admitting purple Färgrik is ugly?”

“You are!”

“Purple Färgrik is ugly!”

“It is!”

 

The two kept their singing of how ugly purple Färgrik was the entire car ride home, ignoring Kibum’s piercing scowls through the rear mirror.

“If you two don’t shut up I’ll shove those Daim bars down your throats,” Kibum warned once he had stopped at a red light. Their heads both snapped upwards to catch Kibum’s glare, promptly turning away to stare out of their respective windows and chew consciously on their chocolate.

 

“Kibummie?” Taemin asked some time later after a prolonged period of silence filled only by the radio.

“Mm?”

“Guess what I’ve named my shark?”

The shark was spread over both Taemin and Jonghyun’s legs with its fin curved around the door, taking up far too much space considering how many boxes actually had to fit in the car.

“Jaws?” Kibum guessed absently.

“Nope!” Taemin replied cheerily, a smile crossing his lips.

“Then what?”

“Färgrik!”

 

Even Kibum couldn’t help but laugh.

 


End file.
